what they would never contiously do
by yuugiho
Summary: very funny! i was really bored on a road trip and started this. sent it to a friend and told me i should put it up . rated pg for drunkness and perverted freaks
1. Default Chapter

Least likely to ever happen…….  
  
Chapter 1   
  
Yu yu hakusho characters  
  
Scene 1: hiei  
  
Hiei walks into a forest and looks around at all the birds  
  
he sits down and stretches his arms out  
  
Hiei: sweet birds, oh sweet birds….come to me! (girly voice)  
  
birds start to come down from the trees  
  
one bird looks at the top of hiei's head and skydives down at it  
  
the bird lands in hiei's hair totally surprised and baffled  
  
Bird: where's the cream filling?  
  
Hiei: hostess, now that's the stuff.   
  
the bird gets untangled and all the birds fly away  
  
Hiei: dammit, it always works for my sister! pouts  
  



	2. kurama

Scene 2: kurama  
  
walks into a barLeast likely to ever happen…….  
  
Chapter 1   
  
Yu yu hakusho characters  
  
2 hours later  
  
Kurama: so there ish I an my buddy kuronue an I sayed kuronue you ish lookn like a scare crow today. And he sayed "dis ish how I ish always looking!" an den dis little guy comes out of nowhere and sayed "I ish dee elf kinga! Heed me now! er wait, maybe dat ish lina inverse……  
  
Random drunkie: a kurama! Are youa gonna have anoder beer or wat buddy!!??   
  
Kurama: I ish… bartender!!!  
  
Bartender: yea?  
  
Kurama: nudder scotch on da rocks!!!  
  
Bartender: yo, how old are you anyway, you don't look old enough to be drinkin'  
  
Kurama: you kiddn I ish over a thousand years old!!!  
  
Bartender: okay whatever, here's yer dumb scotch  
  
Kurama: thankya!  
  
Another random drunkie: uh oh! Here comes atsuko urameshi! She tough don't gat in her way ifs ya know wadda hell is good fer ya!  
  
Atsuko: make way ya stupid punks atsuko comin through! Bartender! Gimme the usual! And make it snappy!  
  
Kurama: ahhh I bet im better dan dis atsuko girl!!!  
  
Atsuko: who said that!?!? You looking for a fight!!???!!  
  
Kurama: ish me! I sayed it!!!  
  
kurama emerges from crowd and walks up to atsuko  
  
Atsuko: suuichi!!!!! What the hell are you doing here!!!!????!!!  
  
Kurama: gettn drunk whor you?  
  
Atsuko: yer comin with me right now young man! Your mother would be ashamed of you!!!  
  
Kurama: I dun got no mom bursts out in tears  
  
Atsuko: come now suuichi, lets go find your mommy…  
  
grabs kurama and draggs him out while he wails  
  
the next day at kurama's house  
  
Kurama: gods! I got the worst headace, owwww!!!!!  
  
Yusuke: youko musta been a heavy drinker…..  
  



	3. yusuke

Least likely to ever happen…….  
  
Chapter 1   
  
Yu yu hakusho characters  
  
Scene 3 : yusuke  
  
yusuke walks into a random shrine   
  
Yusuke: where's botan?  
  
Shrine keeper: who? Excuse me sir but the shrine is closed for the day you will have to come back tomorrow…  
  
Yusuke: then where is hina geshi?  
  
Shrine keeper: im sorry, who?  
  
Yusuke: im a Yankee doodle dandy a Yankee doodle do or die! A real live nephew of my uncle Sam, born on the forth of julyyyyyyy!!!!!  
  
Shrine keeper: dialing mental institute number yes come by right away, yes, no, yes, he's crazy, what's he doing? I don't know!!!  
  
koemna appears in front of yusuke  
  
Koemna: you're a disgrace you know that?  
  
Yusuke: shut the hell up, you toddler!  
  
Koemna: are you drunk, yusuke?  
  
Yusuke: an whatif I am?!?!  
  
Koemna: your not are you…what in my father's name are you doing?  
  
Yusuke: havin fun! Dats what!!   
  
Koemna: this is your idea of fun?  
  
Yusuke: I always wanted to be a kindergarden teacher….  
  
yusuke walks to the elementary school he used to go to just as the mental asylum arrives  
  
Asylum man: did the psychopath leave yet? Where is he?  
  
Yusuke: right there!!! points to koemna  
  
Asylum man: ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Floating baby!!!!! Get out the net this is an emergency!!!!  
  
a giant net is brought out of the truck  
  
it swings around and catches koemna  
  
Koemna: yuuuuuuuussssssukeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yusuke: sorry koemna, gotta go torture some kindergarteners and some real toddlers, not posers like you! ;p  
  
the next day  
  
Kuwabara: yusuke who is this?  
  
Yusuke: my girlfriend  
  
Kuwabara: what about keiko?  
  
Yusuke: who? Oh yeah her! I hate her…miss. Midori is much better!  
  
Miss.midori: im a kindergarten teacher! .  
  
Yusuke: yes you most certainly are!  
  
Kuwabara: . rightttttttttt  
  



	4. kuwabara

Least likely to ever happen…….  
  
Chapter 1   
  
Yu yu hakusho characters  
  
Scene 4: kuwabara  
  
kuwabara walks up to hiei  
  
Kuwabara: hiei, I kazuma kuwabara…..gets down on one knee propose to you  
  
Hiei: looks disgusted   
  
Kuwabara: I have realized that not your sister, but you, are the only one for me  
  
Hiei: I wouldn't marry you even if I knew your pathetic and disgusting customs  
  
Kuwabara: please!!!  
  
Hiei: wacks him over the head with the hilt of his sword leaves him there unconscious and bleeding  
  
the next day  
  
kuwabara walks up to kurama  
  
Kuwabara: kurama, gets down on one knee will you marry me?  
  
Kurama: im sorry I must decline your offer  
  
Kuwabara: c'mon our names both start with a "k"  
  
Kurama: sorry, im not gay  
  
kurama walks away  
  
the next day  
  
kuwabara flies up in an air balloon to jin   
  
Kuwabara: jin, gets down on one knee will you marry me?  
  
Jin: your lookin familiar, who are ya?  
  
Kuwabara: you remember me!?  
  
Jin: no sorry  
  
Kuwabara: will you marry me?  
  
Jin: sorry, no im not gay  
  
later  
  
kuwabara walks into koenma's office  
  
Koemna: what's up kuwabara?  
  
Kuwabara: do you know a gay guy that's single?  
  
Koemna: in fact I do  
  
Kuwabara: you do!?!?  
  
Koemna: here is his address hands kuwabara a piece of paper with writing on it  
  
the next day  
  
Kuwabara: is standing in front of a giant house this is it! knocks on the door  
  
a little man in a ninja outfit opens the door  
  
Sasuki: maaaaster kuuuuuuunoooooooo!!!! You have a guest!  
  
kuno comes out  
  
Kuwabara: gets down on one knee will you marry me?  
  
Kuno: okay!  
  
they do the happy dance  
  
10 years later when kuno and kuwabara are happily married  
  
Koemna: kuwabara, why didn't you ever ask yusuke to marry you?  
  
Kuwabara: eww! I don't roll that way!  
  



	5. keiko

Least likely to ever happen…….  
  
Chapter 1   
  
Yu yu hakusho characters  
  
Scene 6 : keiko  
  
keiko walks home  
  
yusuke is hiding in her closet  
  
keiko takes out video and puts in in the vcr of her bedroom  
  
yusuke and keiko both watch the video  
  
the video ends  
  
yusuke comes out from the closet  
  
Yusuke: wow that was a really good movie!  
  
Keiko: yu-yusuke! Ohmigod when did you get here?!!?!??!!?  
  
Yusuke: keiko, how long have you been watching porno movies?  
  
Keiko: meep!  
  
Yusuke: of girls  
  
Keiko: eh heh   
  
Yusuke: your worse than me and kuwabara, you sicko!  
  
yusuke walks out  
  
keiko puts in another porno movie  
  



	6. yukina

Least likely to ever happen…….  
  
Chapter 1   
  
Yu yu hakusho characters  
  
Scene 7: yukina  
  
yukina freezes all of Tokyo  
  
Yukina: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER CITY IS FROZEN BY MEEEE!!!   
  
YUKINA!!! THE GREAT SNOW VEGGIE!!!!  
  
she disappears and magically reappears in front of keiko's house, she goes in and takes a   
  
large stack of videos  
  
Yukina: MWAHAHAHAHHAA now keiko's porno collection is mineeeeee!!! And now I must freeze the   
  
internet to steal their porn collection!!!  
  
hiei appears  
  
Hiei: yukina! Im ashamed of you! How many times have I told you not to freeze cities to add   
  
to your vast porn collection! This is very disappointing! Good grief! If only father wasn't   
  
such a perv, you'd be a nice sweet girl.   
  
Yukina: looks sorry  
  
Hiei: don't give me that look young lady! I have nothing against lesbians but a perverted   
  
lesbian is a different story!  
  
Yukina: im sorry big brother, ill try not to be voyeur.  
  
Hiei: okay ill forgive you sis sets the city on fire to melt the ice accidentally kills   
  
all the people hn insignificant nigens…..thinking (oh gods koemna's never gonna let me   
  
off of reikai tantei now….ugg)  
  



End file.
